Psst! Did you hear? It's Valentine's Day soon! This means IT'S TIME TO FIND YOURSELF A PARTNER! If you already have a date or are currently dating, congratulations! You have, as the Romans called it, carus, or charm. However, FEAR NOT for those of you who are single or struggling to find your rizz game! I have hired the perfect man to help you (and I) to charm anyone into your circle. His name...is Ovid, and he will be providing assistance to us through his Ars Amatoria. Let us hurry, for there is not unlimited rizz in this world.

The first step in any process towards a good relationship is knowing who you want to like and what you want to seek. Does this person fit your personality, your hobbies, interests, passions, and whatnot? If, say, you're a writer...then I'm sorry to say you will get zero interest. Sorry, but it's the truth. However, if you are anyone else, you will try to match these interests with others. If you are naturally outgoing, perhaps you also want a partner who is energetic and extroverted like you. 

The second step is to look far and wide. And I mean, REALLY far and wide. Like, go to the theatre, the park, the circus and the beach for girls. Search every statue, every seat, every towel, every corner of the earth. You miss 100% of shots you don't discover existed...oh wait, that's not how it goes. Whatever. When you find that perfect girl, then you gotta shoot your shot. And I don't mean, send her a letter via correspondence. Pfft, what did you think we were, barbarians? No, I mean scooting up right next to her at the circus and engaging in small talk. Don't be shy; life only happens once. If it fails, try again with a different girl. Eventually, you'll find one that likes you...eventually. Who knows, maybe she'll get a good look at your calves (this is from Ars Amatoria 2.261).

Lastly, if you want to maintain a relationship, make sure to establish the trustworthiness of you and your partner. Give her gifts, baskets, and treasures for her to keep and remember you. Be confident and upfront when you talk with her. Entrust promises to her, any promises. Yes, even false promises, that may or may not come to fruition. You just need to make her believe you. Win her over completely. Once you accomplish this, you will have succeeded in the first step of finding a good partner.

Congratulations! You have "successfully" picked up a girl using BC techniques! Now all you need is to sustain your relationship. The second part on that later!

*Ovid was exiled to Tomis in 44BC for an affair he had, so again, DO NOT TAKE THIS ADVICE LITERALLY!